Orcs are Horrible Engineers


You think this is big, Imagine the CEOs desk it goes on.

You think this is big, Imagine the CEO's desk it goes on.

Location: Warsong Lumber Camp, Ashenvale and Windshear Crag, Stonetalon Mountains

Faction: Neutral (Easier if your Horde)

While I have little to no doubt in the aptitude of the average Orc to smelt ore, crush stone to powder, or assemble small mechanical squirrels – one need only to venture to the Warsong lumber yards in Eastern Ashenvale to witness the true weak link of Orcish engineering. A serious lack of math.

Take a look at this picture.  There are no less than two of these contraptions in the entire area.  I can’t figure out what they could be used for.  At first glance this contraption is designed to simply put wood on a wagon.  But not so. This device does not have enough rope for that.  I walked around it three times looking for some manner of extra rope to lift and lower the wood.  Doesn’t exist. The wood only has enough rope to keep it suspended in the air like it’s seen. It’s a giant orc executive ball clicker.

There is no way to slice it to defend such a monstrosity.  Is there just enough rope to hoist and drop it?  That’s extremely ineffective even for a pulley.  I am not one for calling the Orcs stupid.  They are a very proud, and wise race.  But while Shamanism may be their greatest strength, you never have heard of the Drek’Thar Theorum, have you?  Meanwhile, the same camp is covered with goblin’s sporting shredders. You just know that they’re laughing at the entire operation.  Why? Because there are still trees there.  The entire region is covered with trees, and I can bet the Elves aren’t the only reason the operation is going slow.

Look! Wall-E is destroying Ferngully!

Look! Wall-E is destroying Ferngully!

Look at what the goblin’s were able to achieve.  More specifically, the work of the Venture Company in Stonetalon.  They are the one faction I always wished that Blizz had made it possible to gain rep with.  Sure, the Bloodsail Buccaneers can be won over, but not the Venture Company.  They have DECIMATED the forest in Stonetalon.  It’s just a barren valley now.  Leave it to a team led by goblins to make lumberjacking efficient, and more importantly, fun.  For instance, take a look at what toys they make: The Super Reaper 6000.

It’s more than just a giant, evil, bad ass, and less environmentally conscience Wall-E.  It’s a testament to Goblin Engineers world over.  The Warsong Lumber Camp has been working there for six years, and still have barely touched the forest. Goblins probably cleared in weeks.

In conclusion, there is a reason why there is Gnomish and Goblin engineering, and there is a reason there ISN’T Orcish Engineering.

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Categories: Kalimdor, Oddities | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Orcs are Horrible Engineers

  1. gankme

    Orcish engineering is just smashing stuff with bigger and bigger hammers while grumbling about it probably

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